Autism and Autobiographical Memory: An Alliterative Revelation

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

In navigating my way through my ASD diagnosis, in weaving this newer revelation into my identity, my story, I am grasping and actively seeking answers, information, knowledge, etc., in that obsessive way Aspies can. 

This fits quite well with my ongoing obsessions already. Identity, including narrative identity, has been a long-term research interest for me.  

The intersection of story and self, in particular, resonates with me. Part of the reason I double majored in psychology and English. Story filled in aspects of the self I felt the science of psychology was not equipped to address (by the very nature of the scientific method, which I am a big fan of, don't get me wrong). 

This led me to things like narrative psychology, narrative identity, and autobiographical memory. 

I mention this as prelude to an article I came across that addresses some of the unique aspects of how autobiographical memory can present in people on the spectrum: 

"from studies of autobiographical memory...while those with autism may have an excellent memory for factual information, the process of storing and recalling specific personal experiences, such as those that happened on a particular day in a particular place, is much more difficult. Instead, their memories tend to record their experience in general terms, rather than the specifics of the occasion." 

Sometimes I can be amazed at how well Asperger characteristics fit and help me to explain and understand myself. I find that aspect of diving into this pretty exciting. 

In regards to my memory, I definitely have difficulties "storing and recalling personal experiences." I am always much more big picture with how I think about and recall most things. I have understood this about myself for a while but never made a connection to autobiographical memory. 

I can't help but wonder if, on some level, my difficulties navigating life transitions and storing my experiences in autobiographical memory accounts for my obsession to understand both. 

This new information is now part of the "equation" for me. Another piece of the puzzle has fallen into place. 

Wonderful.

Autism Diagnosis: A Hero Act

Photo by BiancaVanDijk, pixabay.com user_id:9606149 

Today I learned I am autistic. Officially. I have been pretty sure for a few months now. And the process from consult to assessment to diagnosis was a long one. But I did my obsessive research on it, as Aspies tend to do. I was pretty sure. But the official diagnosis from a VA psychiatrist makes it...official. 

It's a life transition. A big one. A hero moment. I am actually in the midst of a few pretty big and meaningful life transitions. I'll explore those in other blog posts. 

Life transitions have always been an interesting subject for me. Maybe because I struggle with them so much. But also because they often have the most powerful impact on who we become, who we are now, how we think about prior life transitions, and how we deal with them in the future.

I came up with the concept of Hero Psychology a long time ago to develop a model of life transitions. The model was a blend of mostly mythological and psychological theories.

I have sort of abandoned this model for a long time. The daily grind of life can be an excellent procrastination tool to avoid exploring your passions and interests, hopes, dreams, etc.

But the model, the idea, has always stuck with me, and now, more than ever, it may be the most relevant to me.

This blog will be about life transitions in a variety of forms. And more important, it will be how we use stories to navigate our way through life transitions. To create a new sense of self that allows us to feel the events of our lives are a coherent, meaningful whole. The creation, this story is, in ways, a fiction. And the fiction can be helpful. I would say crucial. It can also be harmful. Because the story we create for ourselves has tremendous power over how we think and feel about our self. How we treat ourselves and interact with others.

Hero Psychology is about all these things and more. But at the core, it is about how we move through life transitions. How that process happens. And in exploring that, how to do it better or more meaningfully. To come out on the other side with a renewed sense of self-meaning. A more malleable life story better able to weather the next inevitable, unexpected transition, big or small. 

The act of being autistic, of being neurodiverse in a neurotypical world, is a hero act. 

This quest didn't exactly start today, but it was codified today. And this is just the beginning. 

I would love your company as I dive in and learn more about what it means to be autistic. Learn to be who I am, really. And in doing so, perhaps help others be more able to be who they are.