I Suck at Blogs: 3 Ways Autistics & ADHDers Can Break Executive Dysfunction Freeze

"I’m committed to publishing a new post each week, so I should have at least 52 posts by the end of 2025. I wonder what Hero Psychology will look like then?"

That's what I said in the last blog I published...10 months ago.

 

By that logic, this should be my 48th blog of the year. Instead, it's my 2nd. Only 50 more to go in the next five weeks. Part of me is tempted. I could do a ton of really short ones and get to 52 by the end of the year. But then I'd probably hate everything about Hero Psychology and abandon it for another 10 months...if not longer.

 

But the time gap tells a story. And it partially answers the question about what Hero Psychology will look like at the end of 2025: a year of significant personal transformation in which writing got pushed aside. However, I have only very recently found a path back to my passion for writing, with a renewed sense of purpose, meaning, and an ever-increasing understanding of how my brain works and what I want this space to be. 

 

I still like the idea of one blog post a week, even if it’s short. And with the year winding down, it's a good time to get back to writing, both because I love it and also because I really do have to complete my dissertation. My goal is to finish 2025 on a strong writing note and ride that into the new year. 

 

So what happened? (The same question I posed in January.) What caused the gap?

 

The Story of What Happened

A lot changed this year. Most significantly, I started a new job at a new institution. I have been the Director of Advisement at Illinois Central College since March, joining a truly great team and a wonderful institution that is serious about making high-impact changes to meet the demands of a rapidly changing higher education landscape. I've genuinely been impressed by what is going on at ICC.  

 

A new higher ed leadership role comes with new systems, expectations, and responsibilities—new everything. And major transitions like this are especially tough for autistic people (did this influence my development of the Hero Psychology model? Probably).  

 

But even before I set foot on campus, I was knee-deep in vitas, cover letters, interviews, and thank-you emails, while still working full-time and parenting teenagers. 

 

On top of all that, I was building consistent habits around food, fitness, and health—important and, honestly, life-changing. But they were also energy-intensive, and that created a domino effect of other changes and tweaks to how I live.

 

As all this ramped up, writing—both my dissertation and this newsletter—slipped out of focus. Not deliberately. It just kept getting moved to “later,” and “later” apparently became 10 months.  

 

Naming What Happened

In my still new-ish role at ICC, I oversee a much larger group of highly talented staff in a fairly high-profile position. All challenges I wanted—ones that really excite me. And because of this, I have accumulated even more ammunition for my dissertation, which explores the challenges and unique strengths of autistic leaders in higher ed. I'm excited to explore and write about these newer revelations.

 

But I also have some AuDHD epiphanies that help explain such a long absence from this blog and my dissertation:  

an Executive Dysfunction Freeze caused by an Executive Function Bottleneck.

My brain hit its capacity, and the transition demanded more cognitive capacity (or "spoons") than I had to spare.  

 

Too much input. Too many moving parts. Not enough bandwidth to write, which demands more sustained attention than I had available.  

 

But things are starting to feel steadier in my job. My routines and processes, which I had to redevelop almost from scratch (a process I kind of love), are coming together. The timing is right to pick writing and this blog back up.  

 

But finding my way back wasn't easy. And it wasn't exactly intentional. I wanted to get back to it. Many times. But didn't. By letting go of the wanting, or rather, letting it be, a shift started to happen. 

 

That shift is what finally pulled me back to writing — and a few things helped me get moving again. 

Photo by sydney Rae on Unsplash (Overlay text by Jason Stalides.)

1. Follow interest, not motivation.

Motivation can be unreliable for autistics and ADHDers, but interests are much more stable. In addition to intense and abundant.  
 
Enter Isaac Asimov. 

I'm a long-time fan. I've been diving back into his stuff, rediscovering my love for his work, science fiction short stories, and idea-infused, high-concept fiction. His writing style hits my brain just right. I have some thoughts on why, related to the double empathy problem (I highly suspect Isaac was on the spectrum) and robots as a metaphor and representation, especially in Asimov stories, of the autistic experience.  
 
This obsession sent me down a deep and rejuvenating rabbit hole: golden-age science fiction, the pulp tradition, and the writers who defined a genre. (Check out Astounding: John W. Campbell, Isaac Asimov, Robert A. Heinlein, L. Ron Hubbard, and the Golden Age of Science Fiction by Alec Nevala-Lee. It's fantastic for pulp sci-fi geeks (like me). I'd also argue it's essential to the understanding of how literature developed in the U.S., but I digress.)
 
In short, reconnecting with my love of Asimov made me want to write again. The spark wasn’t discipline. It was reconnecting with things I love, without regard for an end goal.  
 

If something lights up your brain, follow it. 

2. Lean in to intrinsic stubbornness.

Restarts happen. Especially for neurodivergent folk. Life shifts and priorities change. You tell yourself that you'll come back to the thing (whatever it is) soon. Later. And it will be waiting eagerly for your return.   
 
At some point, too much time passes. Any sense of urgency and momentum has long vanished. The thing is different now. Alien. It didn't wait after all. Some seemingly different thing has replaced it, and you have to become friends with it again. But you don't really want to.    
 
So how do you find your way back? For autistics, the path back has to be organic and intrinsic. You can't be forced. Not even by yourself. We can get into trouble over our perceived stubbornness. It can get bad, and people do not understand.
 
But by not looking for the motivation, the motivation found me. I had to write again. I yearned to.
 
The hunger outweighed the guilt. The page called to me, so I began writing some words, then some sentences, then some pages.  

 

3. Build doable goals that feel personal.

Reconnecting with my love of Asimov rekindled my love for writing, both fiction and non-fiction—which motivated me to fit writing back into my life. The question then becomes how do I do that?
 
I started by setting up some achievable writing goals to start, along with retooling and creating some all-new systems and structures to allow it to happen.
 
But the daily word goal is key, and sharing that goal helps keep me accountable, so here it is:
 

333 words a day.

999 on weekends or holidays.

 
Why those numbers? They're small enough that I don’t dread them, which makes them much easier to initiate on low-energy days, while also allowing for impactful progress. Plus, I like the number three (my birthdate, cosmic and symbolically significant, and just a nice round number that feels right).

I'll use this blog to share my word counts with you. Don't let me slack again!

What is Happening Now

Writing feels good again. Great even. While my dissertation and this newsletter need attention, I finally feel like I have the bandwidth to pick both up again without overwhelming myself. The freeze has apparently thawed, the bottleneck loosened, and I’m easing back into it. 

 

I'm also reinitiating my long-overdue plan for one blog per week.

  

If anything here resonates with your experiences, I’d love to hear about it. I get a lot out of learning how other people navigate similar terrain.

  

If you’re not already subscribed, I'd love it if you stuck around. I’ll be sharing updates on my dissertation, the writing practice I’m rebuilding, autistic and ADHD issues, probably some thoughts on science fiction, and whatever other tangents call to me (I'm sure there will be many). 

 

I also invite you to let me know if there’s something you'd like to see me explore further. I’m still shaping what this space will be, and it can be amazing to see what connections emerge from suggestions and encouragement from others.   

 

✍️ Writing Log Check-In:

(Since restarting on Nov. 28)

• Nov 28: 724 (goal: 333)

• Nov 29: 1,649 (goal: 999)

• Nov 30: 971 so far today (goal: 999)

Running total: 3,267 words

 

I head back to work tomorrow after the holiday break, so that will be the real test. For excellent tips and strategies on how to fit writing into a busy life, check out Be a Writing Machine 2: Write Smarter and Faster, Beat Writer's Block, and Be Prolific (Author Level Up) by M.L. Ronn. Great stuff, and I hope you find it helpful.